The change (Part 1)

7 years ago, during my A level year, I made the decision to put on the hijab. Here’s what happened:

It was in March 2011. I was in a relationship with a guy and it ended abruptly. The break-up really crushed me and I lost myself for a few months. I could not sleep at night, lost my ability to focus in school and found myself staring into space a lot. My dear friend, Warah, noticed the changes in my behaviour (I’m usually bubbly) and she gave me a suggestion.

“Syaf, why not you try to pray?”

I vividly remember the concern in her voice and she suggested that to me. (Thank you so much Warah. May Allaah continuously reward you for this priceless suggestion of yours.) I had exhausted all ways to try to make myself feel better and initially, I was honestly skeptical about the effectiveness of her suggestion. I kept her suggestion in mind but.. I was still brooding over self-pity.

A few days later, I saw an Arabic post made by an acquaintance on Facebook. Out of sheer curiosity, I commented to ask for the translation and this was what the post translated to:

“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AI-Baqarah, 2:216)

GASPS. That verse spoke to me. It woke me up from my months of distress. I felt like god was conversing with me directly. I was so impacted by that verse that within one night, I made the sudden decision to put on the hijab because I just wanted to immerse myself into the religion.

Was I fully ready to put on the hijab when I decided to do so? Definitely not. But I guess I am the queen of impromptu decisions so I just went on with what my heart told me to do. I only started wearing the hijab permanently after my A levels in Nov 2011.

A dear family member expressed her worry that I might take off the hijab as it was too sudden a decision. I was aware of that risk too but I just wanted to shift my focus to Islam because I no longer wanted to live in the misery of my heartbreak. I also changed to a hairstyle I did not like so I would feel more encouraged to cover my hair up. Lol I was 18 and rash haahhahaa.

A post I found from my old blog :)

A post I found from my old blog :)

The spiritual high I felt when I started wearing the hijab was amazing. I felt like I could make it through any of my life troubles because I have Allaah. I shared on my personal IG (@nurulsyafikahz) before that I was bullied in college. Feeling close to Allaah truly made the bullying I had to experience so much more easier to handle because I discovered a new sense of self-worth and belonging. Like… it’s okay if I don’t fit in anywhere in this world because I am worthy in the sight of Allaah.

I am immensely grateful for all the heartbreaks I experienced that brought me to Allaah. I thought the break-up I had to go through was unfortunate, but it turned out to be a huge blessing from above. The discovery of Islam is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

My hijrah story is a pretty long one so I shall continue in the next post, insyaaAllaah.

Love, Nurul Syafikah

P/s: If you need someone to talk to about your struggles with regards to the hijab/discovery of Islam, feel free to leave me a DM at @deepduzt. I am sure we can benefit from one another. Hugs!

Nurul Syafikah ZainiComment
You are a strong and precious diamond.

I shared on my Instagram page some time back about the etymology of the word “Deepduzt” (I will share it here soon). The word “Deepduzt” truly encapsulates my life journey since I delved deeper into the religion 7 years ago. Why did I start wearing the hijab? It is a super long story that might require more than just 1 blogpost, haha.

I once thought that wearing the hijab was the end point of my spiritual journey. I contemplated for some time before putting it on full-time. Me and the hijab? We had our honeymoon period for the first few months. It all felt sweet and I was on a total iman high… and then the time came when it dawned upon me that omg the “Old Syaf” is stuck in this hijab-wearing body. I once had the misconception that I had to be perfect in order to continue wearing the hijab (there were times I actually removed my hijab for a while because I thought that I did not act in a way that was appropriate for the hijab) but now, I know that this spiritual journey is a constant process of growth.

Whether you are wearing the hijab or not, I want you to know that I understand your dilemmas and that you are worthy in the sight of Allaah. Keep growing into the precious and strong diamond that you are. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worthy of Allaah’s mercy just because of their assumption that you are not trying.


Together, we are a community of strong and precious diamonds. <3

Here is a special 15% off store-wide discount code for you diamonds: TDC15 (Valid only until 28/10/18, Sunday)

Keep shining,

Nurul Syafikah Zaini.

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The Deepduzt Community

Welcome to The Deepduzt Community! Deepduzt started out like this; I was tempted to start wearing shawls back then but I had no idea how to style them. The instant ones available in the market were too short for my liking (the coverage of a shawl is very important to me because I need to nurse my child and solat on-the-go. Back story: Before Deepduzt, I was a Maths tutor. My schedule was rather tight so I had to solat and go home to nurse my baby in between sessions).

So anyways, Mum and I decided to try making our own wide instant shawls for my personal use. Coming up with the perfect measurements took a whole lot of trials-and-errors and forget-it-this-isnt-going-to-work moments. Our brains were fried. But we managed to figure it out somehow and we loved the invention. I started wearing the shawls out everyday and I became a total convert. I stopped wearing my square Akel hijabs, haha. That was when my friends and extended family members started asking about the wide instant shawls I wore out. They highly encouraged me to start selling the shawls. I thought long and hard about selling the shawls because I was 0% interested in business (can't believe I've been doing it for almost 3 years now!). I somehow decided to just give it a try because after all, the shawls might benefit the ladies around me. 

I started with a post on my personal instagram page (named Deepduzt back then) and Radin (my dear friend) was my first customer. Within a few days, all 10 pieces were snapped up. I was amazed by the response. I seriously already planned to keep all 10 shawls to myself in case no one bought the shawls, Lol. I still did not delve too deep into the business until I went to Vietnam for a family holiday and accidentally found my supplier. We accidentally found the perfect fabric. Alhamdulillaah. Trust me, I reaallllyyyy did not plan to purchase any fabrics because I did not bring extra money. We bought fabrics with the extra $300 we brought and was flat broke on the last day of the trip. We barely had money to even eat a bowl of Pho. Lol. 

When we returned, I could not think of a name for my new hijab line. Hence, I used the name Deepduzt for my business and changed my personal IG's username to something else. Deepduzt after all represents my process of change. Without the leap of faith I had in 2011, Deepduzt probably wouldn't even exist. It has been 2 years+ since Deepduzt launched and maasyaaAllaah, I am grateful for all the friendships I have forged with many ladies from all walks of life. So many customers turned into my friends. We are like sisters now. Beyond all the selling and buying, we have formed a community of women who are together at heart in striving for the betterment of self.

If you are new here, I warmly welcome you to The Deepduzt Community. 

Lots of love,

Nurul Syafikah Zaini.

Nurul Syafikah ZainiComment